Not Christian Enough
I've been struggling for a while with my position in the writing world. When I first started writing novels, I found a contest run by a Christian writers organization. The fee to enter was cheaper for members, and it seemed like there were other benefits of membership, so I joined. I didn't place in the competition, but I learned a lot.
I wrote my second novel for NaNoWriMo and then found critique groups in the Christian writers organization. The feedback on my work was both positive and constructive. I enjoyed swapping and giving my feedback to others on their work. Not only did I get to read other stories, but I practiced looking critically at what I was reading and saw ways to improve my own writing.
But then we get to chapter eight. Spoiler alert: the main character has sex. Actually, that happened in chapter seven. I put a note in the email where I submitted the chapter for critique, warning potential readers that there was slightly sensitive material. Now, it didn't go into any detail. Mostly just making out. I leave the reader on a cliffhanger before anything actually happens.
But chapter eight...the day after. I didn't put a warning on the chapter. The chapter mentions a condom wrapper on the night stand. Boom! My email blows up. I get reprimanded from the admins that this is too graphic and I should have put a warning for more sensitive readers. A condom wrapper. Too graphic. No other anything in that chapter even comes close to being inappropriate.
Let me be clear. My book has morals. I know there are girls out there who are going to have sex. I was trying to show the struggles that come with that. Emotionally. Physically. I wanted girls to read it and really think about their decision to do it or not. And if they chose to do it, to be safe about it.
Anyhoo, lots of tears later, I finished subbing my book. I put a warning on every single chapter I submitted. I got a lot less offers for critique after that. But I persisted.
Flash forward to now. My latest book has a main character that might fit into LGBTQ+. I say might fit into because...well it's a long story and hopefully you'll read it once it's published. I feel strongly that this one will get there. Well, anyway, I entered the first chapter in the same contest I entered with that very first manuscript. I got some really, really positive feedback from one judge. The others were concerned it wasn't clean enough. There's no sex in this one. But the main character says the word "crap" and "shoot" and "fudge." The other character in the book makes fun of the main character for not cursing. But apparently "crap" isn't clean enough to be Christian.
After the contest, I finished writing the book. I was in contact with the judge who had very positive feedback. They asked whether I was entering the book in the next contest which is later in the year from the same Christian writers organization. The entry is longer and requires a synopsis. I was hesitant because of the negative comments from the other judges. But then I got to thinking maybe it would be worth it.
Before I paid the entry fee, I contacted the contest coordinator to be sure my entry wouldn't be disqualified for it's alternative swear words and the possibility of an LGBTQ+ main character. She had to check with her supervisors. After days of waiting, I finally get the response. The LGBTQ+ character would disqualify me from the Christian contest. Because the character doesn't come to Jesus in the end.
I felt empty. Depression was weighing on me for other things that day and I just had enough. For a long time I've had questions about whether I really belonged in the Christian book market. I guess I don't. But God is in my books. This latest book has the characters thinking about death and God and God's forgiveness. Does that mean I don't fit in the general book market either? I think bringing God to a reader of general market fiction would be a very good thing. It would make me a fisher of men, right?
Matthew 4
18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. 19“Come, follow Me, Jesus said,“and I will make you fishers of men.” 20And at once they left their nets and followed Him.…
I wrote my second novel for NaNoWriMo and then found critique groups in the Christian writers organization. The feedback on my work was both positive and constructive. I enjoyed swapping and giving my feedback to others on their work. Not only did I get to read other stories, but I practiced looking critically at what I was reading and saw ways to improve my own writing.
But then we get to chapter eight. Spoiler alert: the main character has sex. Actually, that happened in chapter seven. I put a note in the email where I submitted the chapter for critique, warning potential readers that there was slightly sensitive material. Now, it didn't go into any detail. Mostly just making out. I leave the reader on a cliffhanger before anything actually happens.
But chapter eight...the day after. I didn't put a warning on the chapter. The chapter mentions a condom wrapper on the night stand. Boom! My email blows up. I get reprimanded from the admins that this is too graphic and I should have put a warning for more sensitive readers. A condom wrapper. Too graphic. No other anything in that chapter even comes close to being inappropriate.
Let me be clear. My book has morals. I know there are girls out there who are going to have sex. I was trying to show the struggles that come with that. Emotionally. Physically. I wanted girls to read it and really think about their decision to do it or not. And if they chose to do it, to be safe about it.
Anyhoo, lots of tears later, I finished subbing my book. I put a warning on every single chapter I submitted. I got a lot less offers for critique after that. But I persisted.
Flash forward to now. My latest book has a main character that might fit into LGBTQ+. I say might fit into because...well it's a long story and hopefully you'll read it once it's published. I feel strongly that this one will get there. Well, anyway, I entered the first chapter in the same contest I entered with that very first manuscript. I got some really, really positive feedback from one judge. The others were concerned it wasn't clean enough. There's no sex in this one. But the main character says the word "crap" and "shoot" and "fudge." The other character in the book makes fun of the main character for not cursing. But apparently "crap" isn't clean enough to be Christian.
After the contest, I finished writing the book. I was in contact with the judge who had very positive feedback. They asked whether I was entering the book in the next contest which is later in the year from the same Christian writers organization. The entry is longer and requires a synopsis. I was hesitant because of the negative comments from the other judges. But then I got to thinking maybe it would be worth it.
Before I paid the entry fee, I contacted the contest coordinator to be sure my entry wouldn't be disqualified for it's alternative swear words and the possibility of an LGBTQ+ main character. She had to check with her supervisors. After days of waiting, I finally get the response. The LGBTQ+ character would disqualify me from the Christian contest. Because the character doesn't come to Jesus in the end.
I felt empty. Depression was weighing on me for other things that day and I just had enough. For a long time I've had questions about whether I really belonged in the Christian book market. I guess I don't. But God is in my books. This latest book has the characters thinking about death and God and God's forgiveness. Does that mean I don't fit in the general book market either? I think bringing God to a reader of general market fiction would be a very good thing. It would make me a fisher of men, right?
Matthew 4
18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. 19“Come, follow Me, Jesus said,“and I will make you fishers of men.” 20And at once they left their nets and followed Him.…
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