A Hard Topic

Have you ever been depressed? It's a hard topic. I have been debating writing this post for some time. Today I finally had the courage to write it. I felt compelled to.

I will admit I have been depressed at times. I have been struggling with it a lot this year. Depression can come from a lot of places. For me it was feelings of inadequacy. Inadequacy in lots of different ways in lots of different parts of my life. Those feelings also spurred jealousy, anger, sadness, and a feeling of being overwhelmed.

For me, depression feels like this weight pressing on my chest. I can’t take a full breath. My heart feels like it’s working extra hard to keep me alive.

Depression doesn’t always show. A lot of times, I’m able to smile and act normal, carry on with business as usual. Temporary distractions can make me happy in the moment. The lesson in this is not to judge a book by its cover. You never know what someone is going through.

I’ve never been clinically diagnosed with depression and I am thankful that I have never been so deep in depression that I needed counseling. Years ago, I was able to break out of depression rather simply. A teacher asked me what was wrong. Nothing else changed. Someone just showed that they cared enough to ask. Just having someone ask can be a lifesaver. If you see someone having a hard time, just ask. You don’t have to know what to say. Just be there and tell them you care.

This past year, the one thing responsible for getting me out of my ruts of depression has been prayer. You might not be a religious person. I know that there is a lot wrong with organized religion in our world. I’m not even in love with the church I attend. But, know this—when I talk to God, I get an answer. I don’t kneel and fold my hands, head bowed, eyes closed. I just talk to Him in my head. He doesn’t speak back with words, but I get my answer somehow. Sometimes, it’s just an idea that pops into my head. A lot of times, it’s a song on the radio. I listen to the lyrics and they are the words I need to hear to heal my heart.

Healing takes time. I posted earlier this year about being depressed and how music lifted me. It wasn’t complete and it wasn’t instant. For days, weeks even, I slowly ascended, one step at a time out of my dark place.

If you are struggling with depression, find someone to talk to. Maybe it’s God for you. Maybe it’s a friend. But maybe you have to get online and talk (type) to a stranger. Talking helps.

Also, know this—someone cares for you. God loves you. Someone in your life cares for you. I care for you. I might not know you. You might live on the other side of the world. But I care for you. You are reading these words and that makes you important to me. Such a silly thing as reading a post on the internet can make you important.

Look for those other little things in your life that make a difference, even in the smallest way. Maybe you’re at work and you smile to a customer that’s having a bad day. You are important to them. They might not show it, but it makes a difference. So many times, my students have greeted me with a smile and said “Good Morning.” It absolutely brightens my day. I should tell them more how much they mean to me.

If you are depressed, especially if you are thinking of hurting yourself, seek help fast. You're not alone. There is hope. If you have concerns for a friend who may be depressed, get help.

If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal or just needs someone to talk to, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. To learn more about the warning signs of suicide, head here.

(PS--I'm good right now, so don't act like I'm some sort of invalid. Treat me with smiles and happiness. Just don't be mean.)


Here's a great post from people who've been on the edge. https://themighty.com/2016/01/advice-for-anyone-considering-suicide/


You can read more about my depression journey in these related posts here.