Perfection

As a musician, I learned to seek perfection. One wrong note can ruin a performance, so musicians seek to perform with 100% accuracy. Not just good. Perfect. On the other hand, I have heard that perfection is an ever-receding goal. It's like chasing the horizon. So, I have ingrained in me a desire for perfection without the ability to reach it. What a bummer!

I think we all have some sort of desire to be perfect. One of my "friends" online posted her before and after pics. She went from skinny to skinnier! Sheesh. If she can't be happy with her size 1 body, how can I be happy with my (much bigger) size? I hear teenagers talking all the time about how they're fat or ugly or dumb or untalented.

In my writing life, I have surrounded myself with peers who are in the same endeavor--to write a great book. So many authors talk about how their work stinks! Even famous writers of books studied in English class have fallen into the belief of "my books are rubbish."

Well, today I had a moment of thinking, "Why bother? I'm no good." I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit writing--my books are trash. I wanted to quit teaching--I'm no good. I wanted to retire--but that was unrealistic. I wanted to get a new job in construction--anything else I'm good at wouldn't make enough money...

I'm still in a funk, but I don't think I'm going to quit--writing or teaching. I think having these feelings of insecurity can be a booster to want to be better. So what if perfection is an ever-receding goal? What about just being great? What about striving for excellence?

Cheer up. You're fine just the way you are. If you have the desire to be better, go for it. If you're happy where you are, great! Whatever you do, don't quit. Don't despair. None of us will ever be "perfect". (Yeah, I'm writing as much to myself as I am to you.)
(Originally Posted April 20. 2016)

You can read more about my journey with self doubt and depression in these related posts.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Valentiny Contest Entry: A Paper Heart Mystery

Image
Below is my entry for Susanna Leonard Hill's Valentiny Writing Contest , a contest where writers must write a children's story in 214 words or less. This year's theme is "curiosity" so I wrote a mystery!  A Paper Heart Mystery 214 words Cora woke up and discovered a red paper heart by her pillow. “What a special Valentine’s Day surprise!” When she got dressed, she found another heart in the closet. When she brushed her teeth, she found another on the bathmat.  Mama came into the room, little Neo panting at her feet. “Thank you, Cora, for the lovely paper hearts you left me in my room,” she said. “But I thought  you  were the one who put them in  my  room.” “That is very curious,” Mama said. Cora thought for a moment. “Do you think a leprechaun left them?” “Leprechauns are for St. Patrick’s Day,” said Mama. “What about the Easter Bunny?” Cora asked. “Easter is not for weeks.” “Santa?” Mama chuckled. “I don’t kn
Read more

Holiday Writing Contest Entry

Image
Below is my entry for  Susanna Leonard Hill's Holiday Writing Contest . The challenge is to write a children's holiday story about a holiday treat in 250 words or less. This story was inspired by my family's love for gingerbread cookies (super special delicious family recipe). Enjoy! Photo by annca from Pixabay Gingerbread Family 227 words The warm scent of ginger and cloves tickled Isabel’s nose. “Mami, the timer’s going off!” “Okay, stand back, Isa. It’s hot.” Mami pulled the pan out. “Oh no!”  “What’s wrong?” Isa climbed up on a stool to get a closer look. The cookie dough had spread! All the little gingerbread men were plump and lopsided. Mami put her hand on her hip. “They’re ruined. We can’t serve these.” “Why not?” Isa licked her lips. They still looked yummy. “Christmastime with family is special. I want everything to be perfect.” “Can we make new ones?” Isa asked. Mami shook her head. “We don’t have enough ingredients.” “Can w
Read more

The Scrumptious Tale of an Allergic Kid

Image
Below is another entry for Susanna Leonard Hill's Holiday Writing Contest . Enjoy! Photo by StockSnap from Pixabay The Scrumptious Tale of an Allergic Kid 146 words Mom rings the doorbell and I tug at my itchy collar. The door opens and we are greeted by the noise of Christmas music and grown-ups chatting. “Matthew, this is my coworker, Mrs. Archer.” I wave. “Welcome!” Mrs. Archer smiles at me. “Follow me to the kitchen. I want to show you all the goodies.” “No thanks,” I say. “I’m not hungry.”  “Oh, but a little elf told me that you could only eat special things, so several of Santa’s little helpers whipped up a bunch of treats that were allergen free.” My ears perk up. The door to the kitchen opens and there’s a full array of glittering cookies and scrumptious looking snacks. Mrs. Archer gestures to the table. “I double and triple checked. Everything here is okay for you to eat.” I look at Mom. She nods. I lick my lips. “I’m starving!”
Read more